This quote from Courage to Change, that wise collection of daily thoughts published by Al-Anon Family Groups, seems pertinent: "It's all right to feel disappointed, skeptical, resentful, joyous, excited, or confused about our changing circumstances." I feel most of those several times a day and in the middle of the night.
Disappointed: I expected to have secured some free-lance assignments by now. I remind myself that working part-time, a) I have more time to follow up on leads, and b) I'm still receiving a salary.
Skeptical: In spite of favorable comments about my completed chapter book, I will only believe it when I get that "We are happy . . ." letter from a publisher.
Resentful: I am annoyed with publishers who offer work and then disappear like wisps of fog.
Joyous: I feel breathless at the prospect of real freedom to structure my time according to my needs.
Excited: This is a new path, and I hear waterfalls and exotic birds up ahead.
Confused: I swing between the polls of "what was I thinking?" and "this is totally what I need to do." I suppose the truth is somewhere in the middle.
CTC goes on: "I will allow myself the dignity to discover exactly how I feel about the changes that are happening today. . . " Stay tuned.